Monday, 1 April 2013

What Matilda Mae has taught me

Today, and every day, Matilda Mae's mummy is missing her baby more than I can imagine.

The thought of it, the mere thought makes me nauseous.

There is so little I can do to help.  So little anyone can do.

I cannot perform miracles; though if I could, I know where I would start.

What I can do, is show Jennie that I am still here.

Thinking of her.


Learning from Baby Tilda.

Remembering that seconds are precious.

Knowing that there is always time for another cuddle, another story, another song.

I am learning patience, more so with each passing day.

And it is all in Matilda Mae's memory.

Look what she has taught me!

To be a better mother.

What greater gift is there?

To prioritise, at every junction.

Not to shout, not to be cross, not to blame.

To be attentive, to focus, to listen.

To appreciate.

Above all, to love.

We spot butterflies, we wear pink and purple; we spy bubbles and we track stars.

All of these things, in memory.

I have realised that few things matter; not really.

Not when it comes down to it.

I do not worry so much.

I am too busy laughing and learning and playing.

Remembering, always.

I have so much to be grateful for.

Thank you, Baby Tilda.

You have made such a difference.

I will always be here for your mummy.

Days, weeks, years down the line.


Behind a keyboard, perhaps.

But here for her regardless.

Offering whatever I can to help ease the pain of losing you.

I am not the only one, not by a long way.

You have brought us all here, Baby Tilda.

You have changed our lives.

You live on in us all.

Thank you, Baby Tilda.


  1. Oh, beautiful. Yes, this is how I feel too! Great post, thank you for writing xx

  2. Beautiful! And echoes my sentiments exactly.

  3. Thank you for your comments. It is difficult not to be able to help more, I just hope our words are of some comfort. x

  4. Couldn't agree more. Lovely post. I'm having a tricky time after moving house with 2 small children and I remember MM every time I try not to yell or despair. I do hope we are helping with sending comments and remembering.