Have you ever been patronised by a two year old? My 12 year old stepson has. Whilst playing with her new dough set this afternoon, he showed Mini what he had made. "Well done, Sam," was her response, "I'm very proud of you!" she said, rubbing his shoulder and peering sideways at him.
Then, later, she showed off her language skills before bed. I took her upstairs and we entered her bedroom.
"My goodness, what a messy room!" I exclaimed. It really was rather untidy.
"Oh yes," Mini replied. "Such a messy fucking hell room."
I am amazed that I managed to keep a straight face at this point.
"What did you say?"
Mini gave a knowing smile. "Nothing."
I repeated my question, to which she replied, "I definitely didn't say fucking hell."
More suppressed laughter.
"No, because we don't say naughty words, do we?"
"No, mummy, I am not allowed to say fucking hell, am I?"
Well, at least she knows that she isn't allowed to say it. That's a start, right?!